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Dead baby jokes

1

post some dead baby jokes (the best kind)

q: what's the difference between a sandwhich and a dead baby
A: I don't fuck a sandwhich before I eat it


q: what does a dead baby sound like in a  blender
a: I dunno i was too busy masturbating

2

Whats Worse than 10 dead babies in a tree, 1 dead baby strung across 10 trees.

Whats the difference between broccoli and a dead baby, I dont eat the top of broccoli.

Those are my 2 favorite. Oh and

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a table, you cant fuck a table.

3

How do you get a baby into a Tupperware™?

Blender. How do you get it back out?

Tortilla chips.

4

>>3
AWESOME

5

>>4
neo-Wittgensteinian.

6

Dead Baby and Peach Stir Fry Recipe

1 lb. dead baby tenderloin, cut into cubes
1 T. vegetable oil
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 each green and red bell pepper, cut into cubes
1 (19 oz.) can peach slices packed in own juice
1/4 C. rice vinegar
2 T. soy sauce
2 T. cornstarch

Sauté dead baby in hot oil in a large skillet until browned on all sides. Add onion, garlic and peppers; cook and stir until onion is softened.

Drain peach slices, reserving juice. Add cornstarch in peach juice; stir until completely smooth. Stir in rice vinegar and soy sauce. Add to dead baby mixture in skillet. Cook and stir until mixture comes to a boil and is thickened. Add peach slices to skillet; cook and stir until peaches are heated through.

Serve with freshly cooked rice.

Serves 4.

7

What's worse than a dead baby trapped inside its mother's uterus?
It's blocking the way for its unborn live twin.

8

What's worse than a pile of dead babys?
A live one at the bottom.
What's worse than that?
It has to eat its way out.
What's worse than that?
I sold tickets to see it.
What's worse than that?
It was filmed.
What's worse than that?
It has been distributed and posted on the internet.'
What's worse than that?
Thousands of sadistic fucks have jerked off to it.

9

There was a woman who just gave birth and asked, "Doctor, is he all right?" The doctor replied, "Yes, except..." The doctor began bashing the infant against objects, throwing it across the room, and stabbing/cutting it with surgical tools. Then he smashed the window out with it and threw it out the window onto the highway where it was pummeled by six different vehicles. Naturally the woman yelled, "What the fuck is your fucking problem, you fucking bastard?!!" So the doctor exclaimed, "Jokes on you bitch, it was a still born!"

10

>>9
Credit where it's due:  EPIC WIN!

11

>>10
fail.

12

What's worse than a dead baby?
A live baby.

13

No way does this fail.
OP is winnar.

14

>>12
heh heh heh

15

>>10
lol nice joke.  'RedCream' and 'win' in the same post - hehehe good one

16

>>15
Only if you define a "post" as including the header information.  Considering message delivery, that's not the common definition.

17

>>16
lol. u lose. GTFO

18

What's the difference between a dead baby and zucchini?
I don't keep zucchini in my fridge.

19

I got some more

Q: what's easier to move, a ton of bricks or a ton of dead babies
A: dead babies because you can use a pitchfork

Q: what's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
A: I don't have a ferrari in my garage

20

whats the difference between redcream and dead baby jokes?
dead baby jokes are made of both oooooold and fail while redcream is made of only fail

21

<<20
Fuck you, dead baby jokes kick ass

22

>>21
underage b&

23

What is the difference between RedCream and a typical namefag?

A typical namefag is still smart enough to accept failure, and eventually either becomes Anonymous or he GTFO

24

i think its time for the happy dance

25

Everyone hates ID:Heaven.

26

what's the difference between the person that made post >>20 and dead baby jokes?

Dead baby jokes are funny

27

>>23
Whats the difference between you and a typical faggot?
None.

28

>>25
NO U

29

>>26
ur a fag. gtfo fag.

30

>>29

go suck a dick faggot

31

>>27
Whats the difference between me and RedCream?

I'm not made of total fail and not everyone on 4chan (and probably the rest of the net) hates me and thinks I'm gay

32

>>30
lol. ur so original. how do u cum up with those insults?

33

>>27
>>29
Saem fag!!

34

What's the difference between RedCream and a cool person?
Everything.

35

>>32
I guess hes using your material then

36

Is there anymore actual jokes?

37

>>35
gtfo then faggot.

38

What's the difference between a hot girl and a dead baby?
I've never fucked a hot girl.

39

>>36
I don't think so :/

40

>>38
gtfo then faggot.

41

>>39
Damn

42

>>36
I hope so.  Dead Baby jokes were never my forte.  Let's hear some MOAR!

43

>>40

gtfo then faggot.

44

What's the difference between dead babies and the fuckheads on 4chan?
Dead babies make me laugh.

45

YES LET'S CONTINUE TO MAKE MY EARS BLEED WITH THE HIDEOUS  NOISE OF REPETITIVE CAT SPANKING

46

How do you make a dead baby float?
take your foot off it's head.

what's funnier than a dead baby?
a dead baby in a clown costume

47

>>45
HUH HUH HUH... CAPS LOCK...

48

>>40
hi homo

49

>>46
Fuck yeah!

50

Why the fuck didn't I post this one earlier...
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.

51

i wantsta eats that babeh

52

What's the difference between dead babies and rotted dead babies?
The rotted ones get fed to the live ones.

53

What do oranges and dead babies have in common?
They both taste better when they're peeled.

54

I had to stay after class at school once for telling some dead baby jokes to the teacher.

55

>>54
How did that go?

56

>>55
not too bad the whole class laughed and I just had to stack some chairs

57

>>54
Did the teacher then molest you after school since s/he found your Dead Baby jokes far too hot to withstand?

58

why did the baby not talk?
cause it was dead

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
EPIC FAIL!!!

59

>>57

Were you there....

>.>

<.<

60

>>56
What was the joke?

61

>>60

i'm not 100% sure but i did 2 and i think they were

why did the dead baby cross the road?
because it was stapled to the chicken

whats easier to move a ton of bricks or a ton of dead babys
dead babies because you can use a pitchfork

62

>>61
Just to piss off your teacher you should've kept telling more after you got in trouble.

63

Playing this video in class would have pissed off the teacher a lot more than telling Dead Baby jokes:

http://cgi.4chan.org/s/src/1189323507365.jpg

64

He didn't exactly tell me to stop but after the first one I asked for one more and he didn't really answer so I took that as a yes and told another one.

Then he told me I can stay after class and clean up the classroom and stack chairs :(

65

Why does God let babies die?
Contrary to popular belief, God eats too.

66

>>65

EPIC WIN!

67

>>66
Thanks

68

What's the difference between dead babies and Arby's?
I fucking hate eating Arby's.

69

what does up and down in a babies crib
my ass

What's worse than smoking pot with a baby?
Making a bong out of it

What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor?
An erection.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.

70

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
Fucked.

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.

71

WE HAVE A WINNER :D

72

Keep this going, I enjoy it.

73

How do you paint a garage red?


Depends on how fast you throw the babies.








What goes "mama mama mama POP"

Baby in a microwave

74

How do you know if your baby is dead?
If it doesn't scream when your harvesting it, then it's dead.

75

How do you punish a baby for shitting too much?
Flush it down the toilet.

76

What does Jesus have in common with dead babies?
They are both served in small amounts.

77

What's red and sits in the corner?

A dead baby with a shuriken lodged in its face.

What's green and sits in the corner?

The same baby eight months later.

78

http://www.facebook.com/I.Love.Briana.Leach/posts/1590053451577#!/pages/Life-As-We-Knew-It/109940742427550

79

I got to use ``autismified'' today.

80

what's purple and yellow and covered in pus?

a peeled baby in a bag of salt

81

what's the difference between a dead baby and a sausage?

I don't eat my sausages with ketchup

82

Whats the difference between me and a babe ?

I just had sex with a hunnit of em and was born at the same time.

83

hi

84

>>83
Good bump.

85

http://www.parentguidenews.com/Articles/DeadlyAccidents


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